


Insight into a Hopeless Dreamer

by Pashiradoki_83



Series: Pashira's Old Poetry [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Bad Poetry, Depressing, Okay Poetry, Poetry, Suicidal Thoughts, good poetry, hopeful
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-04
Updated: 2018-05-18
Packaged: 2019-04-18 08:44:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 2,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14209422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pashiradoki_83/pseuds/Pashiradoki_83
Summary: This will be a collection of poetry I wrote from 8th to 12th grade. Some of it good, some of it bad, and some of it okay.





	1. Bed of Roses

**Author's Note:**

> I used to write a lot of poetry when I was younger. It was an outlet for me. I am no longer a writer of poetry. Not because I no longer have need of an outlet, but because that part of me was killed by someone I was close to at the time.
> 
> I haven't had anyone read my poetry in a very long time and I think it is time for me to let people read it again.
> 
> A lot of my early poetry rhymed, and then it was pointed out to me that I was losing meaning by forcing rhymes. Most of my 'later' poetry doesn't rhyme.
> 
> I think the poem I am most proud of is the one I wrote in a spiral on notebook paper. Not sure if it is good or bad, but I managed to write that sucker in a freaking spiral and had it fit on notebook paper. Writing outside in. A total ^%&*$ to type up though.

Bed of Roses

Bed of Thorns

Unforgettable Poses

Not everyone Mourns

 

Bed of Roses

Bed of Thorns

Forgettable Poses

Everyone Mourns

 

Bed of Roses

Bed of Thorns

Not everyone is Moses

Unforgettable Horns

 

Bed of Roses

Bed of Thorns

Everyone is Moses

Forgettable Horns

 


	2. If I Were a Rose

If I were a rose

Do you suppose

I would die in a major frost

Would I be lost

Or would I live

Should I give

The joys I know

And should I show

The wonders of the universe

Should I rehearse

The speech I must make

To overtake

The powers of darkness

Should I share the happiness

That comes from being

Would I be lost

If I died in a major frost

Do you suppose

If I were a rose

 


	3. I Live, I Die

I live to die

I die to live

I always try

To always give

To those in need

Much more than I

Do a good deed

It is not always pie


	4. You Cannot Walk Away

If love is like an ocean  
It would need true devotion  
As deep as it goes  
Most everyone knows  
You cannot walk away  
Even if love is at bay

If love is a river  
It may sometime taste like liver  
But if you see it through  
There is nothing you cannot do  
You cannot walk away  
Even if love is at bay

If love is like a lake  
You must not stay awake  
For your love will protect you  
If your love is true  
You cannot walk away  
Even if love is at bay

If love is like a pond  
You must be fond  
Of your true love  
Not everyone is a dove  
You cannot walk away  
Even if love is at bay


	5. If I Were a Bird

If I were a bird  
I would not be third  
I would fly  
All over the sky  
Over the countryside  
There are rules to abide

If I were a bird  
I would be not a nerd  
I would soar  
Never through an open door  
Over the city  
They take no pity

If I were a lion  
There would be no denyin’  
I would be queen of the jungle  
I will not bungle  
Any simple or difficult job  
No need to sob

If I were a lion  
I would be half dandelion  
I would rule honestly and fairly  
But sometimes I can barely  
Control my temper  
Please do not whimper


	6. I Have Lived

I have lived a thousand years

I have survived many fears

I shall live a thousand more

Life is never a bore

 

I have lived many lives

I have met many knives

I shall have many lives more

Life is the core

 

I have had many loves

They were not all doves

I shall have many loves more

Life is full of sores

 

I have had many deaths

Some were painful beyond reason

I shall have many deaths more

Life can never be torn

 

 


	7. I Will March

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I have the niggling feeling this was inspired by something, but for the life of me I cannot remember what.

I will march through the battlefields in hope someday I may forget the terrors of battle.

I shall live to bury the parts of me that the battle took from me.

I shall hope no more shall have to face the horrors I have faced.

 


	8. Silence

Silence can be so quiet

Silence can be so loud

Silence can be so much

Silence can be so little

Silence can be nothing

Silence can be anything

Silence can be nowhere

Silence can be everywhere

Silence can mean a lot

Silence can mean very little

 


	9. Death

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> suicidal thoughts

Death is the only way out

I doubt anyone would pout

Over me

I do not see

Why I have survived

I am deprived

I cannot love

I am not a dove

I dare not wish

Wishing is for fish

Cats are perfection

I know no affection

Dreams are for fools

Know where there are any pools

Suicide is the key

Getting stung by a killer bee

I doubt anyone would pout

Death is the only way out

 

 


	10. The Road is Long

The road is long

The crossroads are many

The choices are difficult

 

Where is my life going?

How many more crossroads will I face?

How much pain will I suffer at the next crossroad?

How much longer can I survive the choices?

 

The road is long

The way uncertain

The going is hard

 

Where is my road taking me?

Have I made the right choices?

How much pain will I yet have to face?

How does one know that they are on the right path?

 

The road is long

The destination unclear

The going is rough

 


	11. Dolphins

Look at them leap from the water!

Watch as they perform somersaults!

Have you ever seen such beauty?

Their beautiful grayish-blue glow,

Their intelligent and ever humorous eyes!

 

Look at their unconscious grace,

At the way they move through the water.

Watch them as they play

And listen to their laughter.

Could they be any happier?

 

Look at how they help each other

When something happens to one of them.

Watch as they show mourning

For the ones who have gone on to a better place.

Observe how they move on.

 

Dolphins and porpoises are they,

A source of never ending hope for us all.

 


	12. Bad Dreams

In the wake of a fretful dream

I lie awake and ponder its meaning,

Wondering if it belongs to the past, present, or future.

 

In the wake of a dreadful dream

I lie alone in my room

Thinking about the implications.

 

In the wake of a horrible dream

I lie shaking in my bed

Fearing to fall asleep again.

 

In the wake of a monstrous dream

I lie still and think not

For the thought I would think would kill me.

 


	13. Where?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Probably depressing.

Where is the love of my parents?  
Where is the closeness of friends?  
Where are the helpful strangers?  
Where are the people who do not believe in violence?  
Where are the birds with soothing voices?  
Where are the dogs with their boundless loyalty and faithfulness?  
Where are the paintings which sooth the mind?  
Where are the musicians who give us soothing music?  
Where are the books which expand your mind?  
Where are the promises of tomorrow?  
Where are the children who are the symbol of life?  
Where are the wild horses which are a model of freedom?  
Where are the dolphins and their love of life?  
Where is the peace which comes with sleep?  
Where is the hope which comes with each new sunrise?  
Where is the safety you feel in the arms of the one you love?


	14. Observer

I am the Observer  
I am everywhere  
And nowhere to be seen  
I take note of every reaction  
You make when others do not

I see you mistreat your friends  
I see you misuse your privileges  
I watch you destroy your life  
I am present when you find happiness

I am not supposed to interfere  
But sometimes I cannot stop  
I am a weak Observer  
I do not like seeing other people suffer


	15. Be My Friend

Be my friend

Talk to me

Let me help you

Let me listen to your problems

Let me give you a friend’s advice

You can cry on my shoulder

You can lean on me

You can trust me

Please be my friend


	16. Journey II

My path is a long one

Made longer and harder

Because I am on my own

 

There are many crossroads

On the path I walk

But I will not stray from it

 

The path I walk id the one

That I have made myself

It is a hard path to follow

 

I come across many paths

That are far more attractive that mine

But those paths are well traveled

 

If I stray from my path

If I chose an easier way

A part of me will die with each step I take

 

Reaching my destination

Will not be my reward

But knowing I did not follow

Anyone’s path but mine will

 

 


	17. Lone Bird

A lone bird

Flying along the shore

Not belonging to any flock

Not really caring

But longing for a mate

Enjoying the dolphins

So careless and free

No worries from them

The bird is not jealous

He has many friends

Even though they are not the same as he


	18. Ocean Waves

The never-ending waves

The many different shades

Of green and blue

The many life forms it holds

The never-ending promise

That you will discover something new

 

Under the turbulent surface

There is a whole new world

Which is waiting to be explored

The many plants and animals

Waiting to be named

And yet wanting to be left alone

 

Once you have seen the secrets

Beneath the ocean’s surface

They will not let you forget them

They will haunt your memory

You will yearn to go back

You will not want to leave a second time

 


	19. Human Nature

Human nature deserves some thought

There are many people who can be bought

There are many people who seek money

Some of the ways they get it are not funny

 

Human nature deserves some thought

Not all doers of wrong get caught

Of the crimes committed today

Not many villains pay

 


	20. My Friend Wes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...no I didn't have a crush... what makes you think that? *shifty eyes*
> 
> I might edit this one later...

About my height is he

With hair mostly brown

Brown eyes and glasses

Every time I see him smile

I feel like smiling too

Not too big and not too small

Always dresses well

And looking nice

Sweet and kind is he

Also he is thoughtful

A little bit shy

Yet always eager to meet new people

Deep of faith

But not as bad as other Christians

Willing to help others find faith

Always willing to listen

And easy to talk to

Open-minded and fair

Deep of thought and creative

 


	21. Injured Hawk

I am a hawk unable to fly.

I have never savored the taste of the wind,

But, oh, how the wind calls to me.

I hear the sky and the wind calling.

My siblings make fun of me because I cannot soar.

I would love to feel the solitude of flight.

Up there, on my own, going wherever I wish,

But alas, soon they will leave the nest and I will be alone.

I will not survive long without a way to feed myself.

I face no qualms about death, for it will be a blessing.

A hawk that cannot fly, does not want to live.

 

It has been a few days since they left.

I am as weak as I was when I hatched.

My last thoughts are of flight.

 

I am flying!

The wind around me shares my joy.

The sky is clear and I am no longer starving.

Flying is everything I thought it would be, and more.

How is there any way to describe the freedom of flight?

No longer am I crippled and stuck in a nest.

 

I am the wind, racing over the earth.

I am the sky over the land, seeing it all from above.

I am finally free!!!

 


	22. Friend? Foe?

Be ye friend or foe

It matters not

For they are one

 

What is a friend who betrays you?

What is a friend who fails to try to understand you?

What is a friend who refuses to help you?

What is a friend who exploits your weaknesses?

What is a friend who blackmails you?

 

What is an enemy who makes you realize that you are wrong?

What is an enemy who helps you understand who you are?

What is an enemy who shows you more respect than your supposed friends?

What is an enemy who forces you to see things as they are?

What is an enemy who helps you through the rough times?

 

It matters not

If be ye friend or foe

For they are one

 


	23. Why and 'Tis

Why must mine heart be so fragile?

Why must mine heart be so caring?

Why must mine heart be so trusting?

 

Forgotten have I been

Loved never was I

My trust betrayed always

I am forever alone

Doomed to know no happiness

 

‘Tis no more a shock thee hath refused me help.

‘Tis no more a shock thee hath betrayed me.

‘Tis no more a shock thee hath exploited me.

‘Tis no more a shock thee hath misspoke me.

 


	24. Guardian

As I lie there dreaming,

Completely vulnerable,

He watches over me.

He protects me from those who would cause me pain,

He would die protecting me.

He is not my slave, servant, relative, or betrothed.

He is my friend, confidant, and guardian.

 


	25. Trapped Flyer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was originally going to be part of a trilogy, but I never was inspired to write Runner and Swimmer.

Higher! I must fly higher!

Those evil men are hunting me again.

I must not be caught!

I must fly out of reach of their weapons and traps

Come on wings! I know you can get me a little higher!

You are tired from flight, I know,

But we must no be caught!

A life in a cage would kill me.

Give me height my wings!

AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

The pain, the pain is so great!

My poor wing is useless now,

Let me find a spot to hide.

Maybe they did not see me fall…

On no! They are coming!

Closer and closer and closer,

I fear they know where I am.

Quiet! Quiet, do not let them hear you.

Oh no! I am caught by my very sanctuary!

I will fight! I cannot be caged, I cannot.

Help me! I will not be me if I am caged!

The horrors of what happens to a caged bird!

 

I am lost, I am myself no more.

I am trapped

 

 


	26. Shocked

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is about 9-11. I was a senior in high school when it happened. Most classes just watched the news that day. Either I was still fairly innocent back then or I was still in a bit of shock when I wrote this.

A little before nine

And a little after,

On the eleventh of September

Year two thousand one,

Two planes hit.

Up in smoke

Go the twin towers.

The fire, the burning,

The deaths of those trapped.

 

I watched the television

As the second plane hit,

And was watching

When the third plane hit.

This one crashed

Into the Pentagon

All this happened

In less than an hour.

Fire, fire, fire.

 

By this time I am

Completely numb with shock.

How could this happen

To us so secure?

Yet another plane crashes

Just outside of Pittsburgh.

But this time not hitting

Its intended target.

Burning, Burning, Burning.

 

Every plane used

In this unexpected attack

Were commercial jets.

All four airplanes

Carried innocent people.

Two-hundred sixty-six people

Who never thought

This could happen.

Their only crime

Was being American.

 

How could this happen?

Why destroy so many

Innocent lives?

Why hijack airplanes

With innocent people aboard?

How can people have

So cold-blooded a nature?

What is this incident

Going to lead to?

 


End file.
